I feel like a thread is fraying, that the sand is running out of the hourglass, that at any moment I could blink and Addie will have grown up. It is her last month of being 1 and I have a lot of emotions going along with this. I feel that she has had to grow up quite a bit since Harrison has been born - little things like having to play on her own more, not cuddling with someone while she takes her bottle, being more independent.... She talks in very complete sentences now and has a memory better than me! She loves to do things to make us laugh and then asks "My funny???" (Still working on correct pronoun use). Sometimes I rock her before bed and I look down at her and can see the older girl that she will become - whether its a certain look, or the way the hair is - she just looks OLDER sometimes and I want to cry out "Wait, SLOW DOWN!!! - I need more time with you being little!!!" And then there is this glimmer of the baby that she was a year ago. When she is crying and wants to be held, or when she falls down, or when she still is having a hard time walking on certain surfaces, or when she first wakes up in the morning. And I just want to hold onto THAT so much. She still has her chubby cheeks and baby face and a few rolls left on her upper thighs - but I know that in 6 more months this will all be gone and I will be enrolling her in preschool. Yes - and everyone says - well, be happy you have another baby at home. And that IS wonderful. But Addie is my Addie and my first baby and I think I will "mourn" every little stage that she grows out of. Kids spend so much of their life trying to be older and act older and its so short of a time that they are really innocent and young. And I am happy that I have been there for all of this with Addie and I look forward to her 2nd birthday and the cute little girl that she is blossoming into. If you ask Addie, she will be having a mermaid party, getting a bike, and will be "4 hours" old.
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